Who should you ask? What is the right question?

As a sexologist, I read widely from academic journals, periodicals, internet articles, sex columns in magazines, etc. in search of the new, the interesting, and sometimes the downright bizarre.

Again and again, these issues come up: ‘Is there anybody who can help me?’ ‘Am I normal?’ ‘What should I do?’ Whilst there are no stupid questions, the answer may be worthless or wrong depending on whom you ask and the kind of questions you ask.

The answer you get from
• a self-identified ‘sexpert’ vs.
• an academic researcher vs.
• an anthropologist vs.
• a medical doctor vs.
• a psychologist vs.
• a trained Clinical Sexologist
will all be dramatically different.

Who you should refer to also depends on WHAT, exactly, your question or concern is and what you hope to get out of the answer or information.

A sexologist is somebody who is trained and familiar with sex and sexuality. This training includes the whole spectrum of sexual behaviors and sexual concerns, as well as sexual orientation.

When you engage a sexologist to support you in your sexual growth, you should ask yourself whether this person is the RIGHT sexologist for you.

You are investing your resources, including time and money. Be smart about it. And good luck!

Researchers Find Prostate Cancer Stem Cell

Researchers have found a stem cell, a kind of master cell, that may cause at least some types of prostate cancer.

What this means is that there may eventually be new ways to treat it.

Read more here.

Media: Exercises for Yummy Sex after Baby

I contributed an article entitled 'Exercises for Yummy Sex after Baby' for the October issue of 'Today’s Motherhood'.



Read the e-zine here. My article is on page 24 and 25.

Malaysian court orders Muslim lovers caned for sex

An Islamic court has ordered an unmarried couple to be caned for trying to have sex in a car in the latest of a series of harsh punishments for Muslims in Malaysia.

Earlier this week, an Islamic court in another state ordered an Indonesian Muslim man to be whipped six times and jailed a year for drinking liquor at a restaurant.

In July, the same court had sentenced a Malaysian woman to six strokes of the cane and a fine for drinking beer in public. The caning, which would be the first time a Malaysian woman has received the punishment, has not been carried out yet. Many see the sentence as a setback for the country's reputation as a moderate Muslim nation.

How many unwed couples having sex can you catch and cane before it becomes excessive? Should Malaysia adopt the approach of closing an eye instead?

Read it here.

Clinton Changes Mind on Gay Marriage

Former President Bill Clinton has revealed he recently had a change of heart on the issue of same-sex marriage.

In an interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper Friday, Clinton explained that he still believes each state should decide whether to legalize gay marriage, but he is no longer personally opposed to it.

For more, click here.

Media: Aphrodisiacs for I.S. Magazine

I contributed quotes and information towards I.S. Magazine’s 25 September 2009 issue on 'The Rise of Aphrodisiacs'.

Get your copy on the I.S. Magazine kiosks or read it here.

AIDS vaccine cuts infection risk for first time

An experimental AIDS vaccine has for the first time cut the risk of infection in a "breakthrough" in the quarter-century battle against the deadly epidemic.

The vaccine is believed to reduce the risk of being infected by almost a third, after the world’s largest clinical vaccine trial of more than 16,000 volunteers was carried out by the U.S. Army and Thailand's Ministry of Public Health.

A vaccine only protects against a possible infection but is not a cure for the more than 30 million people already infected with AIDS.

This has made news all over the world. Click for more here.

A vaccine only protects against a possible infection but is not a cure for more than 30 millions of people already infected with Aids.

Love at First Sight - on Public Transport

In the UK, people still place personal ads to track down strangers they've locked eyes with for a fleeting moment

The dating column in the Londonpaper, a free evening newspaper distributed across London, is hugely popular with commuters. Then there are global websites such as ISawYouToday.com and LoveOnTheLine.com, while classified ads sites such as Gumtree and Craigslist both have columns called Missed Connections.

Love floats here.

Now on 'Sex with Timaree'

Timaree Schmit is currently finishing up a doctorate in Human Sexuality Education at Widener University and has been running her blog for 1.5years.

She asked and I decided to contribute towards her site. The announcement is here.

Bed sharing 'bad for your health'

One study found that, on average, couples suffered 50% more sleep disturbances if they shared a bed.

Sleep specialist Dr Neil Stanley told the British Science Festival how bed sharing can cause rows over snoring and duvet-hogging and robs precious sleep. As such, couples should consider sleeping apart for the good of their health and relationship.

This is not so shocking a proposition as the article went on to report how before the Victorian era it was not uncommon for married couples to sleep apart. In ancient Rome, the marital bed was a place for sexual congress but not for sleeping.

I would suggest that if you partner do not sleep well next to you, either compromise (separate beds on certain days/ night before important meetings etc) or adapt to each other's sleeping style/ pattern.

For more, click here. This is a older study citing the same expert.

Tune in to 938Live

I was interviewed on 938Live this morning 11:15a.m. to noon.

The same interview will be replaced on 938 Live this evening 11:10p.m. to midnight.

Tune in if you missed the live broadcast, and like to catch it.

Aphrodisiacs: Foods That Boost Sexual Performance

According to Elle, these are the top 10 grocery store items for improving couple's libidos.

1. Chocolate
2. Pumpkin Pie
3. Good & Plenty Candy
4. Oatmeal
5. Oysters
6. Fish
7. Avocados
8. Garlic
9. Seeds and Nuts
10. Mint

For the full article, click here.

Want baby? Attend this seminar!

I am one of three speakers at a seminar this Sat, 26 Sept, 2 - 4 p.m. at YMCA of Singapore.

The seminar, 'Fertility, Intimacy, Planning for Baby' is organised by Singapore Planned Parenthood Association and supported by Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

The topics which I will be covering are:
- Sexual Anatomy & Difference in Male and Female Sexual Response
- Significance of Sexual Intimacy & Its ROles in a Marital Relationship

There are still seats available and the fee of S$5 per person or S$8 per couple has been waived due to sponsorship. To register, please email Rev at sppassn@singnet.com.sg. You may wish to call Rev at 6775 8981 for future details.

Why women have sex

Cindy Meston and David Buss, authors of Why Women Have Sex, highlight 200 specific reasons.

They include: to relieve boredom; win favours; stop a headache.

Next time your partner initiates sex, she could be just plain bored.

Read it here.

First Man to be Cured of HIV?

After a stem cell transplant from a very special donor, a Berlin patient has had an undetectable viral load even though he hasn't been on HIV treatment since before the transplant.

The man has generously allowed scientists to take almost every possible biopsy and test, including the most ultrasensitive HIV tests available, but HIV has not been detected anywhere in his body.

It's now almost three years since this operation and HIV still seems not to have reemerged. His story inspires new hope that some sort of gene therapy may be the key to an HIV cure.

Read more here.

Safe-Sex Ad Featuring Hitler Stirs Anger

German AIDS awareness group, Regenbogen (German for rainbow) has come under fire for posting an online video that starts off with a young couple having sex in an apartment before revealing the male to be a grinning Adolf Hitler.

Its closing message: "AIDS is a mass murderer."

This video has drawn criticisms of being little more than shock value and was offensive to people who have HIV. You may be able to find it on YouTube.

It seems the ad will no longer be aired. I was personally put off by the tastelessness of it. However controversy sells and gets people to sit up and pay attentions. Perhaps this unaired ad may well do some good afterall.

Read more here..

The spanking senator

U.S. politician Mike Duvall is fighting for his career - and his marriage - after he was overheard bragging about having sex with two women.

The married father-of-two, Duvall was unaware a microphone at his table was turned on when he began to regale a colleague with explicit details of his extra-marital sex life.

The full story here.

Uruguay approves Latin America's first gay adoption law

In an unprecedented move for Latin America, Uruguay lawmakers Wednesday adopted a trailblazing law allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt children.

I applaud the move. Gay and lesbian couples are no better or worse parents than the rest of us. And homosexuality is not contagious.

Read it here.

Sex in a bin?

A couple's otherwise beautifully romantic plan to have sex inside a large rubbish bin was spoiled somewhat when they were then robbed at knifepoint.

What are some places you would have sex?

View the story here.

Queensland's first illegal termination case for 25 years

In Queensland, Australia, abortion is only legal if the life of the mother is in jeopardy,

A Cairns teenager,Tegan Simone Leach, 19, and her 21-year-old partner, Sergie Brennan, became the first Queenslanders in nearly 25 years to be sent to trial under the state's controversial abortion law. If convicted, the young woman faces up to seven years' jail and her partner a maximum of three years.

Now it seems that Shay, whose unborn child is so severely malformed as to have no prospect of survival, has been told the pregnancy must be aborted for the sake of her health. But with medical abortion services suspended due to the impasse between doctors and the state government over the legality of the procedure, no hospital will admit her.

Read the two stories here:
• First illegal termination case for 25 years.
• Queensland abortion law change is woman's best hope.

One million wishes sought to propose to girlfriend

KK wants to collect one million well wishes via cyberspace to propose to his girlfriend by 27 January 2010.

He is asking visitors to his site to leave well wishes, even if a short line.

Because he wants to give his girlfriend a special surprise, he has insisted on not putting photos in blog.

Maybe KK is not even his name.

I do wish the couple well. The blog is here.

More response in online dating

Online dating website, OkCupid shared that
• 16% of all first messages are over 2000 characters, or about 400 words.
• First messages sent by guys are only half as likely to get a reply as ones sent from women.
• The average first message is 743 characters long.

Although longer messages will increase your chances of getting a response, you won't be able to send as many. Read more here.

My question is: what about those who cut and paste their messages? They can send as many messages in the same amount of time.

That's a 'Binge Belly,' Not a Beer Belly

It's not how much you drink but to how much you drink at one time that gives you a beer belly.

Since abdominal obesity is an important risk factor for diabetes and for cardiovascular disease, the finding help in the understanding of the link between heavy drinking and these diseases.

Read more here.

Eat Late, Put on Weight?

Your mom was right. Don't eat after 9p.m. 10p.m. or whatever the golden hour is!

The reason: the interplay between body temperature, metabolic hormones such as leptin, and the sleep-wake cycle.

Read more here.

Pakistan Inmates Aallowed to Maintain Contacts with Spouses

Acknowledging the fundamental rights of inmates, the Federal Shariat Court of Pakistan announced that married prisoners could maintain contacts with their family members.

They should either be released on short parole or provided some reserved place within jail premises because a prolonged absence always gave rise to social evils

Other issues challenged included the classification of prisoners into Class A, B and C, the inhuman living conditions of condemned prisoners and multiple problems being faced by them, performance of conjugal rights in the prison, extending benefits of Section 382 of the Criminal Procedure Code (CrPC) to the prisoners, powers exercised by the jail superintendent, rights of appeal to prisoners against major offences, quality of food, protection of women prisoners and facilities being provided to prisoners and visitors by the jail authorities.

For more, click here.

Talk to a Pretty Girl and Lose your Mind

According to a new study, talking to an attractive woman really can make a man lose his mind. Temporarily, that is.

He is thinking of reproducing with the lady i.e. sex?

Talking to an attractive man doesn't make a woman lose her mind because besides looks, a woman also looks for signs of other attributes, such as wealth, youth and kindness.

For more, click here.

Love your breasts

Women's breasts are not just for nursing or for men to wank at. Women can and should enjoy and appreciate their breasts.

Women's Health shares six ways:

• Cuddle up
• Tease them
• Relish new sensations
• Focus above the areola
• Get wet
• Maximize your size

For the full story, click here.

Are you an Asexual?

Asexuals are people who are simply not interested in sex. They consider themselves members of a fundamental sexual orientation. At an event that celebrated sex of every flavor, one group declared an intention to skip the buffet.

For personal accounts reported, click here.

Do you have Sexomnia?

Sexsomnia refers to a wide range of sleep related sexual behaviors that includes masturbation, fondling, sexual intercourse with climax, and sexual assault/rape.

There are three possibilities why this happens:
1) Confusional arousals during which complex behaviors may occur when a sleeping person is suddenly aroused out of deep sleep.
2) Co-existing sleep disorders: other factors that may increase the risk of sexsomnia include the use of alcohol, sleep disruption such as caused by obstructive sleep apnea and sleep deprivation.
3) Sleep related epilepsy that can result in sexual arousal, pelvic thrusting and orgasms.

For more, click here.

Berlin 'sex academy' offers tips for visitors

You will find the "Spank-o-meter" and "Italian chandelier" at the "Amora sex academy" that opened in Berlin.

Learn through more than 50 interactive displays guide visitors through the intimate areas of the male and female bodies, offering helpful tips on everything from striptease to oral sex and how to achieve a perfect orgasm.

For more, click here.

First black lesbian mayor in America to marry her partner

Denise Simmons, the first black lesbian mayor in America, has announced she is to marry her partner next weekend.

She was elected as mayor of the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts, in January 2008. The state was the first in the US to legalise gay marriage.

For more, click here.

Female Genital Mutilation Arrest Made

Egypt has arrested the first person under its ban on female genital mutilation. I doubt the act would not have come to light if not for the heavy bleeding following the circumcision, according to Al Arabiya.

WHO estimates that somewhere between 100 and 140 million women and girls are currently living with the after-effects of FGM, while Unicef places the figure at around 70 million.

For more, click here.

New clues on how Hypnosis works

Hypnosis has been used to help with sexual anxiety and in treatments.

Now functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) show that brain activity is different under hypnosis.

The study concludes that hypnosis induces a disconnection of motor commands from normal voluntary processes under the influence of brain circuits involved in executive control and self-imagery.

Read more by clicking here.

HPV Infections linked to Penile Cancer

A worldwide review of studies has shown that one of the most common types of the human papillomavirus (HPV) is linked to about half of all penile cancers.

Remember HPV affects both men and women. For the article, click here.

Do you know your sexual rights?

Did you know that sexual rights are universal human rights based on the inherent freedom, dignity and equality of all human beings. Because health is a fundamental human right, so sexual health is a basic human right.

I have abbreviated these rights as stated by World Association for Sexual Health:

• The right to sexual freedom
• The right to sexual autonomy, sexual intergrity and safety of the sexual body
• The right to sexual privacy
• The right to sexual pleasure
• The right to emotional sexual expression
• The right to sexually associate freely
• The right to make free and responsible reproductive choices
• The right to sexual information based upon scientific inquiry
• The right to comprehensive sexuality education
• The right to sexual healthcare

In addition, Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality states that these are their identified sexual rights.

Your sexuality is an integral part of your personality and your sexual satisfaction is a basic human need. Full development of sexuality is vital for individual, interpersonal, and societal well-being.

Besides being an intellectual, emotional and physical human, you are also a sexual being with sexual rights.

Oral Sex cause of Throat Cancer rise

Changing sexual practices have led to a dramatic rise in throat cancer in the United States over the past two decades.

Increasing rates of HPV infection, spread through oral sex, is largely driving the rapid rise in oropharyngeal cancers, which include tumors of the throat, tonsils, and base of the tongue.

Safer sex doesn't just mean using contraceptives, or condoms for vaginal penetration anymore. You can consider using a condom for oral sex as well. For more, click here.

Would you change your last name?

Back in 2007, an USA Today article reported that more men were now taking their wives' last names upon marriage.

Recently the same newspaper now reports that about 70% of Americans believe that it is beneficial for a woman to take her husband's last name when they marry, and, more surprisingly, about 50% of Americans think that the government should require women to do so.

Should brides take their husband’s last name? For more, click here.

Teens turn to Internet for sex ed

The USA Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports that one in three teens say they've never received information about birth control.

Sex ed classes are happening on the Internet.It can teach safe sex MTV style or less raucous sites like Scarleteen.com and even YouTube.com.

For more, visit here.