Why is my attitude towards sexuality important?
Our attitudes express themselves through words and actions. Your attitude is an outward expression of who you are, rather than what you do or know. Attitude reflects behaviour: your attitude towards another determines the other’s attitude towards you.
In short, your attitude determines outcome and the quality of the life you have. Have you examined what you stand for and why when it comes to sexuality? SAR allows you to do so!
So what should I do?
Attend a SAR!
What is a SAR?
SAR is a process-oriented, structured group experience to promote participants' awareness of their values, beliefs and attitudes on various issues in sexuality, and to assist them in understanding how these attitudes and values affect them professionally and personally. It is a powerful way to increase one’s sexuality comfort and change attitudes that may interfere with effective communication and teaching about sexuality.
What do you do at SAR?
The SAR experience involves viewing a series of sexually explicit films and discussing reactions in a small group facilitated by an experienced sexuality educator. The workshop is designed to increase understanding of the wide spectrum of human sexual arousal and behavior. Topics to be explored include fantasy; sexual myths; masturbation; heterosexual, gay, lesbian and bisexual relationships; transgender; alternative relationships; disability and aging.
Who should attend SAR?
Anyone who wish to better understand their own sexuality and that of others, as well as for people who are working in the fields related to sex and sexuality should take a SAR. SAR provides innovative and practical information, training and skills necessary for more competent, sensitive, professional and personal functioning.
Prerequisites: There is no prerequisite/ briefing/ prior training needed for participants, just an open mind and willingness to share/ discuss feelings, attitudes and reactions openly.
Dates/ Time: Fri 21 Aug 09, 7 - 10:20p.m.; and Sun 23 Aug 09, 2 - 10p.m.
Fee: S$250 nett includes refreshments
Size: Min 6 - Max 15.
Register/ enquiries: Please email info@eroscoaching.com.
Venue: Chip Bee Gardens, opposite Holland Village Cold Storage
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Upcoming Eros Coaching talks
Free Preview
What is sexology? Who is a clinical sexologist? What services and courses does Eros Coaching provide? What are some basic sexual knowledge that everybody should know? Find out if you would be able to benefit from engaging Eros Coaching yourself.
Who should attend?
Anybody who is interested in some basic sexual knowledge and keen to find out more about the services and courses of Eros Coaching.
Date/ Time: Fri 7 Aug 09, 7:30 - 9 p.m.
Fee: Free includes refreshments
Talks
1) Petting the Kitty
Techniques, physiology, toys and positions that will keep her positively delighted.
Date/ Time: Mon 10 Aug, 2 – 4 p.m. OR Fri 25 Sept, 7:30 – 9:30p.m.
Fee: S$35 nett includes refreshments
Size: Max 15
2) Different Strokes
Tips and techniques for giving guys a happy ending with your hands.
Date/ Time: Fri 28 Aug, 7:30 – 9:30p.m.
Fee: S$35 nett includes refreshments
Size: Max 15
3) Fabulous Fellatio
Techniques, positions and physiology for intensified orgasms while going down on him.
Date/ Time: Fri 11 Sept, 7:30 – 9:30p.m.
Fee: S$35 nett includes refreshments
Size: Max 15
4) All about Anal
Learn about the art of safe and pleasurable anal play
Date/ Time: Fri 18 Sept, 7:30 – 9:30p.m.
Fee: S$35 nett includes refreshments
Size: Max 15
Venue for all events: Chip Bee Gardens, opposite Holland Village
Pre-registration required for all events and dates subject to change.
To register/ for enquiries, please email info@eroacoaching.com.
What is sexology? Who is a clinical sexologist? What services and courses does Eros Coaching provide? What are some basic sexual knowledge that everybody should know? Find out if you would be able to benefit from engaging Eros Coaching yourself.
Who should attend?
Anybody who is interested in some basic sexual knowledge and keen to find out more about the services and courses of Eros Coaching.
Date/ Time: Fri 7 Aug 09, 7:30 - 9 p.m.
Fee: Free includes refreshments
Talks
1) Petting the Kitty
Techniques, physiology, toys and positions that will keep her positively delighted.
Date/ Time: Mon 10 Aug, 2 – 4 p.m. OR Fri 25 Sept, 7:30 – 9:30p.m.
Fee: S$35 nett includes refreshments
Size: Max 15
2) Different Strokes
Tips and techniques for giving guys a happy ending with your hands.
Date/ Time: Fri 28 Aug, 7:30 – 9:30p.m.
Fee: S$35 nett includes refreshments
Size: Max 15
3) Fabulous Fellatio
Techniques, positions and physiology for intensified orgasms while going down on him.
Date/ Time: Fri 11 Sept, 7:30 – 9:30p.m.
Fee: S$35 nett includes refreshments
Size: Max 15
4) All about Anal
Learn about the art of safe and pleasurable anal play
Date/ Time: Fri 18 Sept, 7:30 – 9:30p.m.
Fee: S$35 nett includes refreshments
Size: Max 15
Venue for all events: Chip Bee Gardens, opposite Holland Village
Pre-registration required for all events and dates subject to change.
To register/ for enquiries, please email info@eroacoaching.com.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sex in Space
Sex in space is possible but the reality is that it is nowhere as romantic as one might envision.
The downside of weightless sex in outer space include spacesickness, difficulty in choreographing movement, lowered blood pressure resulting in reduced anatomy and sensation as well as for sweat and other bodily fluids getting in the way.
For more:
Sex in Space video
Outer-space sex carries complications
History Channel to air special on 'sex in space'
The downside of weightless sex in outer space include spacesickness, difficulty in choreographing movement, lowered blood pressure resulting in reduced anatomy and sensation as well as for sweat and other bodily fluids getting in the way.
For more:
Sex in Space video
Outer-space sex carries complications
History Channel to air special on 'sex in space'
Monday, July 27, 2009
How do Sexologists work?
The PLISSIT Model of Sex Therapy developed by Jack Annon and is the basic format for used by Clinical Sexologists.
PLISSIT is an acronym for a model of sex therapy. It stands for permission, limited information, specific suggestions, and intensive therapy. It represents a specific model designed for treatment in sex therapy by Jack Annon in 1974.
PLISSIT is basically a graduated system of therapeutic sieves, in which the easy cases are caught and eliminated first, while the more difficult cases sink to the bottom in steadily diminishing numbers. Thus, Annon's pragmatic and practical model is a useful reminder for all therapists and their clients that not every sexual problem requires to go through the whole therapeutic arsenal.
There are four levels of the therapy designed for each successive level to provide increasingly deeper levels of treatment.
An example of the first phase of the treatment would be for the therapist to use the session reassuring the client/s that their behaviors, thoughts, feelings, fantasies are normal. This is further explained that this is normal as long as the behavior does not negatively impact the other person.
The second phase, limited information, is when the therapist provides specific information to the client/s regarding their concerns such as sexual response, anxiety, size of one’s penis, sexuality and aging, clitoral response, orgasmic responses, effects of medication might have on sexual performance, etc.
The third stage, specific suggestions, is comprised of homework assignments such as the use of techniques of stop/start techniques, masturbation, or others recommended by the therapist. These are designed for the couple to reach goals such as improved communication, reduce any anxiety, or learn new arousal behaviors.
The final phase, intensive therapy, is needed in when there are relationship problems which are at the root of the sexual problems. This is the phase required when the first three phases do not resolve the sexual problems. This intensive therapy ranges from psychosexual or insight-oriented during which the therapist interprets and reflects to the clients to help them gain awareness of their feelings which may be inhibiting their sexual response.
PLISSIT is an acronym for a model of sex therapy. It stands for permission, limited information, specific suggestions, and intensive therapy. It represents a specific model designed for treatment in sex therapy by Jack Annon in 1974.
PLISSIT is basically a graduated system of therapeutic sieves, in which the easy cases are caught and eliminated first, while the more difficult cases sink to the bottom in steadily diminishing numbers. Thus, Annon's pragmatic and practical model is a useful reminder for all therapists and their clients that not every sexual problem requires to go through the whole therapeutic arsenal.
There are four levels of the therapy designed for each successive level to provide increasingly deeper levels of treatment.
An example of the first phase of the treatment would be for the therapist to use the session reassuring the client/s that their behaviors, thoughts, feelings, fantasies are normal. This is further explained that this is normal as long as the behavior does not negatively impact the other person.
The second phase, limited information, is when the therapist provides specific information to the client/s regarding their concerns such as sexual response, anxiety, size of one’s penis, sexuality and aging, clitoral response, orgasmic responses, effects of medication might have on sexual performance, etc.
The third stage, specific suggestions, is comprised of homework assignments such as the use of techniques of stop/start techniques, masturbation, or others recommended by the therapist. These are designed for the couple to reach goals such as improved communication, reduce any anxiety, or learn new arousal behaviors.
The final phase, intensive therapy, is needed in when there are relationship problems which are at the root of the sexual problems. This is the phase required when the first three phases do not resolve the sexual problems. This intensive therapy ranges from psychosexual or insight-oriented during which the therapist interprets and reflects to the clients to help them gain awareness of their feelings which may be inhibiting their sexual response.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Common sexological concerns
This is a list of common sexological concerns:
• Body image and sex-negative conditioning
• Sexual desire
• Courtship concerns
• Obstacles to Intimacy
• Sexual development, maturation and aging
• Sexual communication and negotiation
• Medical considerations affecting sexuality
• Atypical sexual behaviours
• Sexual trauma including assault and childhood exploitation
• Gender identity
• Sexual orientation
• Sexual education for parents
• Women’s concerns including orgasm, masturbation, partnered sex, painful intercourse, and lubrication
• Men’s concerns including erectile difficulties and timing of ejaculation
A trained clinical sexologist, like myself, will be able to address these concerns. For an appointment, please email info@eroscoaching.com.
• Body image and sex-negative conditioning
• Sexual desire
• Courtship concerns
• Obstacles to Intimacy
• Sexual development, maturation and aging
• Sexual communication and negotiation
• Medical considerations affecting sexuality
• Atypical sexual behaviours
• Sexual trauma including assault and childhood exploitation
• Gender identity
• Sexual orientation
• Sexual education for parents
• Women’s concerns including orgasm, masturbation, partnered sex, painful intercourse, and lubrication
• Men’s concerns including erectile difficulties and timing of ejaculation
A trained clinical sexologist, like myself, will be able to address these concerns. For an appointment, please email info@eroscoaching.com.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
What is Anal Cancer?
Farrah Fawcett , the feathered-hair star of Charlie's Angels, had a private funeral on 30 June at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Angels in Los Angeles.
Fawcett was diagnosed with anal cancer in late 2006. Anal cancer is a relatively rare cancer that occurs in the anus. The anal canal is a small section, about an inch and a half long, that connects the rectum to the outside of the body.
While there is no screening for anal cancer, most people with anal cancer will be cured. Treatment typically entails surgery, radiation, or chemotherapy. Doctors may find anal cancer early with a rectal exam. During this test the doctor inserts a gloved finger into the anus to feel for lumps or growths.
People considered at high risk for anal cancer include transplant recipients, HIV-positive people, women who have had cervical cancer or vulvar cancer, and all men who have sex with men.
Before anal penetration (whether with fingers, tongues, toys, dildos or penises), it should be preceded with a discussion of risk and should only be participated between consenting partners. Condoms (male or female) should be used along with a generous amount of lubricant. If there is any form of pain upon penetration, you can relax, breathe, add lube, slow down or stop. It is your body and you need to speak up.
Fawcett was diagnosed with anal cancer in late 2006. Anal cancer is a relatively rare cancer that occurs in the anus. The anal canal is a small section, about an inch and a half long, that connects the rectum to the outside of the body.
While there is no screening for anal cancer, most people with anal cancer will be cured. Treatment typically entails surgery, radiation, or chemotherapy. Doctors may find anal cancer early with a rectal exam. During this test the doctor inserts a gloved finger into the anus to feel for lumps or growths.
People considered at high risk for anal cancer include transplant recipients, HIV-positive people, women who have had cervical cancer or vulvar cancer, and all men who have sex with men.
Before anal penetration (whether with fingers, tongues, toys, dildos or penises), it should be preceded with a discussion of risk and should only be participated between consenting partners. Condoms (male or female) should be used along with a generous amount of lubricant. If there is any form of pain upon penetration, you can relax, breathe, add lube, slow down or stop. It is your body and you need to speak up.
Friday, July 24, 2009
What are Kegel Exercises?
What Are Kegel Exercises?
The pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle is a hammock-like muscle, found in both sexes, that stretches from the public bone to the coccyx (tail bone) forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting the pelvic organs. Kegel exercises strengthen and give voluntary control over these muscles.
Why Do Kegel Exercises?
Often the pelvic floor muscles are weak which contributes to problems with losing urine. Doing the exercises correctly and regularly with resistance can strengthen the muscles. Stronger muscles lead to little or no urine loss for many women. Kegel exercises can also improve your sex life when you give your partner's penis a surprise squeeze or several quick squeezes during love making.
How Do I Do Them?
The easiest way to find your PC muscle is to stop the flow of urine while you are peeing. As you are peeing, intentionally stop the flow of urine. Do this several times until you can clearly feel the muscle you are using to stop the flow. This muscle is your PC muscle.
You can also check yourself by placing a finger in your vagina and squeezing around it. When you feel pressure around your finger, you are using the correct muscle. Try to keep everything relaxed except the muscles right around the vagina. At the same time, do not bear down or squeeze your thigh, back or abdominal muscles. Breathe slowly and deeply. At first you can do the exercises with your knees together (lying or sitting).
How Often Should I Do The Exercises?
Once you've identified your pelvic floor muscles. Then:
1. Contract your pelvic floor muscles.
2. Hold the contraction for three seconds then relax for three seconds.
3. Repeat 10 times.
4. Once you've perfected three-second muscle contractions, try it for four seconds at a time, alternating muscle contractions with a four-second rest period.
5. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.
At first, you may not be able to do the exercises or hold the squeeze. With practice it will become easier as the muscles get stronger.
To get the maximum benefit, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles or isolating your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Also, try not to hold your breath. Just relax, breathe freely and focus on tightening the muscles around your vagina and rectum.
When Should I Expect Improvement?
It takes from six to twelve weeks for most women to notice a change. Remember, if you do the exercises with resistance regularly you could see results sooner and prevent stress incontinence.
The pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle is a hammock-like muscle, found in both sexes, that stretches from the public bone to the coccyx (tail bone) forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting the pelvic organs. Kegel exercises strengthen and give voluntary control over these muscles.
Why Do Kegel Exercises?
Often the pelvic floor muscles are weak which contributes to problems with losing urine. Doing the exercises correctly and regularly with resistance can strengthen the muscles. Stronger muscles lead to little or no urine loss for many women. Kegel exercises can also improve your sex life when you give your partner's penis a surprise squeeze or several quick squeezes during love making.
How Do I Do Them?
The easiest way to find your PC muscle is to stop the flow of urine while you are peeing. As you are peeing, intentionally stop the flow of urine. Do this several times until you can clearly feel the muscle you are using to stop the flow. This muscle is your PC muscle.
You can also check yourself by placing a finger in your vagina and squeezing around it. When you feel pressure around your finger, you are using the correct muscle. Try to keep everything relaxed except the muscles right around the vagina. At the same time, do not bear down or squeeze your thigh, back or abdominal muscles. Breathe slowly and deeply. At first you can do the exercises with your knees together (lying or sitting).
How Often Should I Do The Exercises?
Once you've identified your pelvic floor muscles. Then:
1. Contract your pelvic floor muscles.
2. Hold the contraction for three seconds then relax for three seconds.
3. Repeat 10 times.
4. Once you've perfected three-second muscle contractions, try it for four seconds at a time, alternating muscle contractions with a four-second rest period.
5. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.
At first, you may not be able to do the exercises or hold the squeeze. With practice it will become easier as the muscles get stronger.
To get the maximum benefit, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles or isolating your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Also, try not to hold your breath. Just relax, breathe freely and focus on tightening the muscles around your vagina and rectum.
When Should I Expect Improvement?
It takes from six to twelve weeks for most women to notice a change. Remember, if you do the exercises with resistance regularly you could see results sooner and prevent stress incontinence.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
World's Strongest Vagina
The claim for the Guinness Book of World Records "the world's strongest vagina"goes to Russia's Tatiata Kozhevnikova, aged 42. Due to her persistence in exercising her internal muscles over the past 15 years, she can lift now 14 kilos (just over 30 pounds) using specially designed equipment.
Just how do you develop a strong vagina?
The answer: Kegel exercises.
Kegel is a popular prescribed exercise for pregnant women to prepare the pelvic floor for physiological stresses of the later stages of pregnancy and vaginal childbirth. Kegels exercises are said to be good for treating vaginal pro lapse and preventing uterine pro lapse in women.
But Kegel exercises are not just for pregnant women. The same exercises may be beneficial in treating urinary incontinence in both men and women, and increase sexual gratification!
For more on Kegels.
Just how do you develop a strong vagina?
The answer: Kegel exercises.
Kegel is a popular prescribed exercise for pregnant women to prepare the pelvic floor for physiological stresses of the later stages of pregnancy and vaginal childbirth. Kegels exercises are said to be good for treating vaginal pro lapse and preventing uterine pro lapse in women.
But Kegel exercises are not just for pregnant women. The same exercises may be beneficial in treating urinary incontinence in both men and women, and increase sexual gratification!
For more on Kegels.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Eros Coaching Courses
Free Preview
Synopsis: What is sexology? Who is a clinical sexologist? What services and courses does Eros Coaching provide? What are some basic sexual knowledge that everybody should know? Find out for yourself if you would be able to benefit from engaging Eros Coaching.
- Sat 25 July, 2- 4p.m.
- Fri 7 Aug, 7 - 9p.
These are the programs which Eros Coaching offers:
* Sexual Attitude Restructuring Workshop
* Personal Sexual Enrichment/ Enhancement Group
* Pre-orgasmic Women's Group
Sexual Attitude Restructuring Workshop
Synopsis: SAR is a process-oriented, structured group experience to promote participants' awareness of their values, beliefs and attitudes on various issues in sexuality, and to assist them in understanding how these attitudes and values affect them professionally and personally. The SAR experience involves viewing a series of sexually explicit films and discussing reactions in a small group facilitated by an experienced sexuality educator.
Date/ Time: Fri 21 Aug 7 - 10:30p.m.; and Sun 23 Aug 2 - 10p.m.
Fee: S$250 nett includes refreshments
Size: Min 6 – Max 15
Personal Sexual Enrichment/ Enhancement Group
Synopsis: PSEE is a self-help program that will help men and women to open up to all the possibilities of sexuality; enhance their senses; and achieve joy, pleasure and freedom to feel. You will be equipped to make decisions regarding you sexuality and to have a more comfortable feeling about you total sexual selves.
Date/ Time: Four Wednesdays, 7 - 10:30p.m. (19, 26 Aug and 2 and 9 Sept)
Fee: $350 nett includes refreshments
Size: Min 6 – Max 8
Pre-orgasmic Women's Group
Synopsis: For women who don’t have orgasms, or have difficulty obtaining orgasms, POW is an intensive program that uses the creation of a mutual supportive system to help women increase consciousness and take gradual steps so as to become aware of and be in tune with their bodies.
Date/ Time: Mon and Thurs, 7:30 - 9:30p.m. (10 sessions i.e. Mon: 17, 24, 31 Aug, 7 Sept, 14 Sept; Thurs: 20, 27 Aug, 3, 10 and 17 Sept)
Fee: $450 nett includes refreshments
Size: Min 6 – Max 12
This is the link for more details. Download the brochure here.
You can email info@eroscoaching.com to register your interest or send us your questions. Eros Coaching will be offering talks soon. Please check back!
Synopsis: What is sexology? Who is a clinical sexologist? What services and courses does Eros Coaching provide? What are some basic sexual knowledge that everybody should know? Find out for yourself if you would be able to benefit from engaging Eros Coaching.
- Sat 25 July, 2- 4p.m.
- Fri 7 Aug, 7 - 9p.
These are the programs which Eros Coaching offers:
* Sexual Attitude Restructuring Workshop
* Personal Sexual Enrichment/ Enhancement Group
* Pre-orgasmic Women's Group
Sexual Attitude Restructuring Workshop
Synopsis: SAR is a process-oriented, structured group experience to promote participants' awareness of their values, beliefs and attitudes on various issues in sexuality, and to assist them in understanding how these attitudes and values affect them professionally and personally. The SAR experience involves viewing a series of sexually explicit films and discussing reactions in a small group facilitated by an experienced sexuality educator.
Date/ Time: Fri 21 Aug 7 - 10:30p.m.; and Sun 23 Aug 2 - 10p.m.
Fee: S$250 nett includes refreshments
Size: Min 6 – Max 15
Personal Sexual Enrichment/ Enhancement Group
Synopsis: PSEE is a self-help program that will help men and women to open up to all the possibilities of sexuality; enhance their senses; and achieve joy, pleasure and freedom to feel. You will be equipped to make decisions regarding you sexuality and to have a more comfortable feeling about you total sexual selves.
Date/ Time: Four Wednesdays, 7 - 10:30p.m. (19, 26 Aug and 2 and 9 Sept)
Fee: $350 nett includes refreshments
Size: Min 6 – Max 8
Pre-orgasmic Women's Group
Synopsis: For women who don’t have orgasms, or have difficulty obtaining orgasms, POW is an intensive program that uses the creation of a mutual supportive system to help women increase consciousness and take gradual steps so as to become aware of and be in tune with their bodies.
Date/ Time: Mon and Thurs, 7:30 - 9:30p.m. (10 sessions i.e. Mon: 17, 24, 31 Aug, 7 Sept, 14 Sept; Thurs: 20, 27 Aug, 3, 10 and 17 Sept)
Fee: $450 nett includes refreshments
Size: Min 6 – Max 12
This is the link for more details. Download the brochure here.
You can email info@eroscoaching.com to register your interest or send us your questions. Eros Coaching will be offering talks soon. Please check back!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
No Sex Theme Park for China
This is old news but I still would like to highlight how China's intended sex theme park featuring explicit exhibits of genitalia and sexual culture was demolished before it even opened.
I was excited when I heard about the theme park. How progressive! There was so much the theme park could do in terms of getting people to talk about, discuss and understand sex. But within days, the park made news again about its demolition. Such a waste of time and resources!
So China wasn't ready. But London (Amora Academy of Sex and Relationships) and South Korea (Jeju Loveland) are.
And there are the sex musuems we can visit:
• Erotic Heritage Museum, Las Vegas (sponsored by Exodus Trust which also owns and manages my school, the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, California)
• Erotic Museum, Amsterdam
• Museum of Sex, York
• For more
Never be afraid of what you do not know. Ask questions, find out, learn. It is all worth it.
I was excited when I heard about the theme park. How progressive! There was so much the theme park could do in terms of getting people to talk about, discuss and understand sex. But within days, the park made news again about its demolition. Such a waste of time and resources!
So China wasn't ready. But London (Amora Academy of Sex and Relationships) and South Korea (Jeju Loveland) are.
And there are the sex musuems we can visit:
• Erotic Heritage Museum, Las Vegas (sponsored by Exodus Trust which also owns and manages my school, the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, California)
• Erotic Museum, Amsterdam
• Museum of Sex, York
• For more
Never be afraid of what you do not know. Ask questions, find out, learn. It is all worth it.
Monday, July 20, 2009
India Decriminalizes Gay Sex
On 2 July, New Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexual intercourse between consenting adults, by striking down section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. This law labels gay sex to be an "unnatural offense", punishable with up to ten years in prison.
Human Rights Watch and other groups urged the Government not to appeal against the High Court’s ruling and called on the Indian parliament to rewrite Section 377 as soon as possible.
More on gay life in India.
Within days, Singapore said it will not decriminalise gay sex but the courts have the power to decide how the law, Section 377, is applied. Singapore has an additional Section 377A of the Penal Code which specifically deems sex between men a crime. Both countries share the same Penal Code, inherited from the colonial British.
Singapore Law Minister K Shanmugam said: "We have the law. We say it won't be enforced. Is it totally clear? We, sometimes in these things, have to accept a bit of messiness. And the way the society is going, we don't think it's fair for us to prosecute people who say that they are homosexual."
No, it is not clear. If a law is not be enforced, why have it? And why leave it to interpretation? Why the wait? Is it for fear of losing support? Does it come down to reminding in power and votes?
The internet community went so far as to call Singapore a fool. Yawning Bread summed it up well: "Now even India, which, socially, is probably a more conservative place than Singapore, and whose justice system we love to laugh at for its inefficiency, has made us look like confused, blinkered, gutless fools."
Human Rights Watch and other groups urged the Government not to appeal against the High Court’s ruling and called on the Indian parliament to rewrite Section 377 as soon as possible.
More on gay life in India.
Within days, Singapore said it will not decriminalise gay sex but the courts have the power to decide how the law, Section 377, is applied. Singapore has an additional Section 377A of the Penal Code which specifically deems sex between men a crime. Both countries share the same Penal Code, inherited from the colonial British.
Singapore Law Minister K Shanmugam said: "We have the law. We say it won't be enforced. Is it totally clear? We, sometimes in these things, have to accept a bit of messiness. And the way the society is going, we don't think it's fair for us to prosecute people who say that they are homosexual."
No, it is not clear. If a law is not be enforced, why have it? And why leave it to interpretation? Why the wait? Is it for fear of losing support? Does it come down to reminding in power and votes?
The internet community went so far as to call Singapore a fool. Yawning Bread summed it up well: "Now even India, which, socially, is probably a more conservative place than Singapore, and whose justice system we love to laugh at for its inefficiency, has made us look like confused, blinkered, gutless fools."
Sunday, July 19, 2009
FDA Approves Plan B
On 10 July, U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved Plan B One-Step, single-pill over-the-counter emergency contraceptive.
Plan B works by giving the body a short, high, burst of synthetic hormones. This disrupts hormone patterns needed for pregnancy. It affects the ovaries and the development of the uterine lining, making pregnancy less likely. Depending upon where the woman is in her menstrual cycle, the EC hormones prevent pregnancy in different ways. It prevents ovulation (the egg leaving the ovary and moving into the fallopian tube). It blocks the hormones needed for the egg to be able to be fertilized. It may affect the lining of the uterus and alters sperm transport which prevents sperm from meeting the egg and fertilizing it.
The most common side effects include: nausea, abdominal pain, fatigue, headache, menstrual changes, dizziness, breast tenderness, vomiting, and diarrhea.
The drug, not to be confused with the RU-486 mifepristone pill, is effective as an emergency contraceptive if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex or contraceptive failure, and is not intended – or effective – as an abortion pill. Needless to say, it should not be used to replace other forms of contraceptives.
Plan B works by giving the body a short, high, burst of synthetic hormones. This disrupts hormone patterns needed for pregnancy. It affects the ovaries and the development of the uterine lining, making pregnancy less likely. Depending upon where the woman is in her menstrual cycle, the EC hormones prevent pregnancy in different ways. It prevents ovulation (the egg leaving the ovary and moving into the fallopian tube). It blocks the hormones needed for the egg to be able to be fertilized. It may affect the lining of the uterus and alters sperm transport which prevents sperm from meeting the egg and fertilizing it.
The most common side effects include: nausea, abdominal pain, fatigue, headache, menstrual changes, dizziness, breast tenderness, vomiting, and diarrhea.
The drug, not to be confused with the RU-486 mifepristone pill, is effective as an emergency contraceptive if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex or contraceptive failure, and is not intended – or effective – as an abortion pill. Needless to say, it should not be used to replace other forms of contraceptives.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Want baby? Sex everyday!
Australian research has shown that daily sex can improve the genetic quality of a man’s sperm and could raise his chances of fathering a child.
This is because when men go without ejaculating, the number of sperm stored in the epididymis at the top of the testicle increases. The longer that sperm sits in the epididymis, however, the more genetic damage it accumulates through exposure to heat and to oxygen free radicals.
Remember: that's intercourse every day during the woman’s most fertile period.
Read more: Would-be parents advised to have sex daily to improve sperm quality
This is because when men go without ejaculating, the number of sperm stored in the epididymis at the top of the testicle increases. The longer that sperm sits in the epididymis, however, the more genetic damage it accumulates through exposure to heat and to oxygen free radicals.
Remember: that's intercourse every day during the woman’s most fertile period.
Read more: Would-be parents advised to have sex daily to improve sperm quality
Friday, July 17, 2009
Death by Breathplay?
When David Carradine was found dead in a locked hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand on 3 June 2009, suicide was suspected.
However on closer look, David had an intricate web of ropes - one around his neck, another around his genitals and the two tied together.
Auto-erotic asphyxia brought to mind. One of the greatest and most dangerous sexual taboos, auto-erotic asphyxia is a method of increasing sexual excitement by restricting the oxygen supply to the brain, usually by tightening a noose around the neck.
Yet when sudden pressure is put on the vagus nerve in the neck, it can slow down the heart-beat and even stop it completely leading to a sudden cardiac death. Despite 'Self-rescue' devices, such as slip knots in the noose or a chair beneath it, one may lose consciousness before being able to release the pressure applied to their necks.
However on closer look, David had an intricate web of ropes - one around his neck, another around his genitals and the two tied together.
Auto-erotic asphyxia brought to mind. One of the greatest and most dangerous sexual taboos, auto-erotic asphyxia is a method of increasing sexual excitement by restricting the oxygen supply to the brain, usually by tightening a noose around the neck.
Yet when sudden pressure is put on the vagus nerve in the neck, it can slow down the heart-beat and even stop it completely leading to a sudden cardiac death. Despite 'Self-rescue' devices, such as slip knots in the noose or a chair beneath it, one may lose consciousness before being able to release the pressure applied to their necks.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Against Marital Rape
Afghanistan's government has revised a law that drew international condemnation for condoning marital rape but the reformed version still requires a woman to satisfy her husband's desires. Read article here.
Closer to home in Singapore, a 'No To Rape' online petition is being coordinated by a team of concerned Singaporeans who have come together for the single purpose of promoting change on this issue. The team is not a formal organisation and its members have no shared agenda beyond addressing sexual violence.
The campaign advocates one simple idea: sexual violence by any person, against any person, is criminal violence. Consequently, non-consensual sexual penetration, regardless of whether the victim and perpetrator are married to each other, should be treated as rape.
I love the site especially the 'Promote' section with ready-made leaflets in poster and flyer sizes, and an Activist Toolkit containing suggestions and resources for creating change.
Closer to home in Singapore, a 'No To Rape' online petition is being coordinated by a team of concerned Singaporeans who have come together for the single purpose of promoting change on this issue. The team is not a formal organisation and its members have no shared agenda beyond addressing sexual violence.
The campaign advocates one simple idea: sexual violence by any person, against any person, is criminal violence. Consequently, non-consensual sexual penetration, regardless of whether the victim and perpetrator are married to each other, should be treated as rape.
I love the site especially the 'Promote' section with ready-made leaflets in poster and flyer sizes, and an Activist Toolkit containing suggestions and resources for creating change.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Calvin Klein does it again
Calvin Klein's ads are known for being titillating and pushing sexual boundaries.
The latest is a five-story mural in lower Manhattan of three hunky guys and a young woman who appear to be taking a languid break from an intimate foursome.
This ad triggered far reaching ripples in USA. Absolutely everybody had something to say about it. Afterall, how would you explain the ad (a billboard no less) to your children?
While the Singapore's Burger King was downright tasteless in their attempt to be tongue-in-cheek, I appreciated just how far Calvin Klein pushed it. This is not a three-second ad. You look, look again and then re-look to make sure what you feel is what you feel. Love or hate it, Calvin Klein has done it again.
For more:
Calvin Nails Its Market
The Calvin Klein foursome ad, and its nationwide buzz
Burger King's Seven-Incher vs. Calvin Klein's Threesome
The latest is a five-story mural in lower Manhattan of three hunky guys and a young woman who appear to be taking a languid break from an intimate foursome.
This ad triggered far reaching ripples in USA. Absolutely everybody had something to say about it. Afterall, how would you explain the ad (a billboard no less) to your children?
While the Singapore's Burger King was downright tasteless in their attempt to be tongue-in-cheek, I appreciated just how far Calvin Klein pushed it. This is not a three-second ad. You look, look again and then re-look to make sure what you feel is what you feel. Love or hate it, Calvin Klein has done it again.
For more:
Calvin Nails Its Market
The Calvin Klein foursome ad, and its nationwide buzz
Burger King's Seven-Incher vs. Calvin Klein's Threesome
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Burger King gets Oral
There is a Burger King ad campaign running referred to as its new oral sex ad. This in-your-face ad infers to fellatio and invokes the universal seven inches metaphor in one broad stroke.
The copy reads "Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the new BK Super Seven Incher. Yearn for more after you taste the mind-blowing burger that comes with a single beef patty, topped with American cheese, crispy onions and the A1 Thick & Hearty Steak Sauce."
In Spain, Burger King has been forced to apologise to Hindus after it showed a revered Indian goddess with a 'forbidden' Whopper burger.
And in "Mexico, a Burger King advertisement for new Tex-Mex style hamburgers, which features a short Mexican draped in a cape with the colours of his country's flag, has offended Mexican officials.
Shame on you, Burger King. Sure controversy gets attention, and may sell burgers but you ain't getting my dollar.
The copy reads "Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the new BK Super Seven Incher. Yearn for more after you taste the mind-blowing burger that comes with a single beef patty, topped with American cheese, crispy onions and the A1 Thick & Hearty Steak Sauce."
In Spain, Burger King has been forced to apologise to Hindus after it showed a revered Indian goddess with a 'forbidden' Whopper burger.
And in "Mexico, a Burger King advertisement for new Tex-Mex style hamburgers, which features a short Mexican draped in a cape with the colours of his country's flag, has offended Mexican officials.
Shame on you, Burger King. Sure controversy gets attention, and may sell burgers but you ain't getting my dollar.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Taiwan decriminalising prostitution
On 24 June 2009, Taiwan began a process of legalizing prostitution making the island the latest place in the world to decriminalize the world's oldest profession.
This after much campaigning by The Collective of Sex Workers and Supporters .
After discussing giving priority to preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, and upholding the working and human rights of prostitutes, the prime minister instructed authorities to work out appropriate regulations for the decriminalization of prostitution within six months.
Current regulations punish only prostitutes but not clients. Prostitutes face detention of three days or a fine of up to 30,000 Taiwan dollars (888 US dollars) if caught. The Collective of Sex Workers and Supporters estimates there are more than 600,000 prostitutes in the country.
Read more here:
Pressured by sex workers, Taiwan OKs prostitution
Taiwan to consider decriminalizing prostitution
This after much campaigning by The Collective of Sex Workers and Supporters .
After discussing giving priority to preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, and upholding the working and human rights of prostitutes, the prime minister instructed authorities to work out appropriate regulations for the decriminalization of prostitution within six months.
Current regulations punish only prostitutes but not clients. Prostitutes face detention of three days or a fine of up to 30,000 Taiwan dollars (888 US dollars) if caught. The Collective of Sex Workers and Supporters estimates there are more than 600,000 prostitutes in the country.
Read more here:
Pressured by sex workers, Taiwan OKs prostitution
Taiwan to consider decriminalizing prostitution
Sunday, July 12, 2009
What is the Secret to Great Sex?
When Peggy Kleinplatz of the faculty of medicine at the University of Ottawa put out a call for “great lovers” across Canada and the United States, she and her team were deluged with old married people.
Through long interviews with 30 men and women over the age of 60 who had been in relationships of 25 years or longer, the several ingredients for “great sex” emerged:
• Being Present; Connection;
• Deep Sexual And Erotic Intimacy;
• Extraordinary Communication;
• Interpersonal Risk-Taking And Exploration;
• Authenticity;
• Vulnerability; and
• Transcendence.
The findings were not a surprise since I believe that the best sex possible is with the one you love and are able to be open, honest and connected with. If you feel you have lost that initial spark, you may benefit from sex coaching to get back to discovering yourself sexually.
For more:
The secret to good sex: aging
Through long interviews with 30 men and women over the age of 60 who had been in relationships of 25 years or longer, the several ingredients for “great sex” emerged:
• Being Present; Connection;
• Deep Sexual And Erotic Intimacy;
• Extraordinary Communication;
• Interpersonal Risk-Taking And Exploration;
• Authenticity;
• Vulnerability; and
• Transcendence.
The findings were not a surprise since I believe that the best sex possible is with the one you love and are able to be open, honest and connected with. If you feel you have lost that initial spark, you may benefit from sex coaching to get back to discovering yourself sexually.
For more:
The secret to good sex: aging
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Why Sexology?
I worked in the corporate world as a communicator with some success for a number of years before managing a non-profit society for two.
Three years ago when I realised that my volunteer work in telephone counselling was bringing me more joy, meaning and fulfillment in life than my corporate job and its awards ever did, I decided to do a career switch.
There are already plenty of extremely competent counsellors, social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists in Singapore. What additional value can I bring? Was there a field in the helping profession where I could crave a niche?
I had not received any sex education when I was young. The compulsory annual school assemblies I attended were on why women bled monthly and how we young ladies have to pay particular attention to personal hygiene. Grown up, there still seemed to be a sore lack of trained sex educators in Singapore. Surely there was more to understanding sex and sexuality than of protecting against sexually transmitted infections (STIs), making babies and getting your period.
This was why I decided to pursue a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and am now a trained Clinical Sexologist.
Three years ago when I realised that my volunteer work in telephone counselling was bringing me more joy, meaning and fulfillment in life than my corporate job and its awards ever did, I decided to do a career switch.
There are already plenty of extremely competent counsellors, social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists in Singapore. What additional value can I bring? Was there a field in the helping profession where I could crave a niche?
I had not received any sex education when I was young. The compulsory annual school assemblies I attended were on why women bled monthly and how we young ladies have to pay particular attention to personal hygiene. Grown up, there still seemed to be a sore lack of trained sex educators in Singapore. Surely there was more to understanding sex and sexuality than of protecting against sexually transmitted infections (STIs), making babies and getting your period.
This was why I decided to pursue a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and am now a trained Clinical Sexologist.
Friday, July 10, 2009
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Who is a Clinical Sexologist?
Sexology is a discipline which has been in existence since mid-19th Century England and Germany. It refers to the study of sexual interests, behavior, and function. This is a field which combines the tools and resources of:
• Biology
• Physiology
• Medicine
• Psychology
• Statistics
• Epidemiology
• Criminology
• Religion
• Philosophy
• Zoology
• Anthropology, and
• Sociology.
In addition, sexology also considers the sexual development, development of sexual relationship as well as mechanics of sexual play.
For more:
Wikipedia: Sexology
A Brief History of Sexology
Hence a Clinical Sexologist is simply somebody who diagnoses and treats sexual concerns and dysfunctions. And I am one.
• Biology
• Physiology
• Medicine
• Psychology
• Statistics
• Epidemiology
• Criminology
• Religion
• Philosophy
• Zoology
• Anthropology, and
• Sociology.
In addition, sexology also considers the sexual development, development of sexual relationship as well as mechanics of sexual play.
For more:
Wikipedia: Sexology
A Brief History of Sexology
Hence a Clinical Sexologist is simply somebody who diagnoses and treats sexual concerns and dysfunctions. And I am one.
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