Sex News in Asia - 2/5/12

This article first appeared on Good Vibrations Magazine.

Singapore

• The 'Kissenger', a Singapore invented device that recreates the lip movements of both users in real time using two digitally connected artificial 'lips'. In short, you can kiss somebody who is not actually there.


• 'Face Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece' promises to tone up your face


• Singapore’s downward trend of population growth is damaging to its economy, said former prime minister Lee Kuan Yew


• Jacquelin Koh wanted to look like the archetypal anime girl – a heart-shaped face, big sparkling eyes, a small nose and chin, flatter ears, a svelte body and full, ripe breasts. She has undergone nine plastic surgery procedures and one correction job.


• Teen put on probation for forcing female friend to perform oral sex


• Only 'feminine' women welcome on Ladies' Nights.


• This woman's job is to chase prostitutes out. She assists the police in their anti-vice operations.


• Details have emerged regarding the woman involved with two top civil servants. This woman changed two men's worlds


• A 25-year-old woman has been placed on probation of one year for having sex with her own father, in what is believed to be Singapore's first consensual incest case.


• More S'porean brides going online for wedding gowns


• Singapore actor Dennis Chew has dressed in drag countless times before to play Auntie Lucy. I fail to see how cross-dressing is funny but it has been this way since Shakespearan times. AWARE member Lee Yenyen ponders the damaging gender stereotypes found in the Chinese-language media here.


• Concerns about revising sex ed in schools by Aware. This is the response from MOE


• 2nd HIV man jailed for sex with same victim

Malaysia

• Netizen sells 'pervert water' on Facebook


• Malaysia's Obedient Wives Club are to be investigated over whether they violated religious laws with a morality campaign that describes the Prophet Mohammed as a role model for "sacred sex".


• A factory building in a small and medium enterprise (SME) industrial area in Meru, near Klang, has become a prostitution den with girls in their teens being used to lure foreign workers in the area.

China

• Man swallows dentures during sex and dies

India

• Sony Pictures' international offices released a confirmation that the 2012 blockbuster remake of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" will not be screened in India


• A porn star goes to Bollywood. If she indeed attains stardom, she would be doing something that is almost unheard of, not only in Bollywood but in Hollywood as well, except by a handful of fringe crossovers.

Brunei

• 7 crazy sex facts about the Prince of Brunei

View last week’s Sex News in Asia here.

Disclaimer: Some of these media reports may portray sex and sexuality in a negative light. I am merely re-reporting them and may not always agree with the reports or opinions expressed.

Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexologist with American College of Sexologists with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia. For more, visit www.eroscoaching.com.

Media: 9 More Things I Wish I Learned In Sex Ed – Part 2 of 4

The only sexuality education I received in secondary school (or high school in the U.S.) was in the form of annual school talks presented by pharmaceutical companies promoting sanitary pads or tampons (depending where they were from). The boys got to first jeer at us, as they went out to play in the sun. We, the young ladies, had the burden of listening to instruction on menstruation and the need to clean up after ourselves.

Here are another nine things that I wish I learned in sex-ed as a teenager. You can read part 1 here.

1. There needs to always be authentic consent for sex to happen. Silence is not consent. Drunken sex is not consent. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. It is ok to stop a sexual session or leave if you do not feel it is right or good for you.


2. There is a difference between being coerced to doing something and being curious and open-minded for your own sake. Heard of the saying, “Fake it till you make it?” Sometimes all it takes to get used to something new is doing more of it so that you get used to it. For instance, it may include getting used to the look, smell, and taste of his penis and even semen.


3. Rather than let sex happen to you, begin thinking about what you need for sex to happen. What would make sex good for you? What would make it better? The first thing is to know what it is you want.


4. You have the right to ask about the sexual history of your partner, now whether what they tell you is true or not is another matter. Always, always, always choose safer sex practices. Take charge; purchase and carry protection with you.


5. Worry less about pleasing your partner, and more about doing the right thing by you--things that after doing you can live to face yourself in the mirror the next day. Remember, it is your body, your life, and your future that is on the line. Before you can have any kind of meaningful relationship, first recognize the magnificence within you and love yourself.


6. Sexual communication is communication. You probably already have the skills it takes to ask for what you need and want sexually. Because your desires and preferences may change over time, sexual communication must be an ever-evolving process. You deserve the best sex possible; communicate.


7. Sex involves the expression of physical love. It is about the joy of life as well as the intimacy of connectedness. The intimacy that these couples must have has to do with the ability to share one’s fears, dreams, and pains. Without honesty, patience, and the ability to be vulnerable, it is not possible to let your partner know who you really are and what you really want.


8. Masturbation is sex. Foreplay is sex. Oral sex is sex. Anal sex is sex. Penis in the vagina is sex. The lack of the male or female orgasm is still sex. To a sexologist, there are different forms of sexual expressions and once one enters the sexual response cycle, it counts as sex! And there is nothing wrong with the word sex either!


9. There is a difference between fantasy and reality. In our fantasies, there are no repercussions, no harm, or pain physically felt or experienced. Fantasies are stimulating because they would probably not happen in real life. This does not mean fantasies cannot become reality, nor does it mean that all fantasies should be played out in life. What is more important is that you can separate between fantasy and reality, and are able to decide what you wish to retain as a fantasy, and what you would like to have happen down the road and under what circumstances.

Did you expect these items to be on part 2? Part 1 is here. Tune in for part 3 next week!

Dr Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality as well as certificates in practical counselling, life coaching and sex therapy. She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia and beyond. For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com.

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Testimonial - Vaginismus Client

"Martha is someone whom you can share your darkest bedroom secrets with. She is always approachable, encouraging and positive. Martha has her own way of making any task less daunting and hence more achievable.

Taking the first step is always not easy and may be difficult for some. I was glad that I took the first step to meet and discuss with Martha my condition at a one-to-one session. Eros Coaching has helped me to overcome vaginismus – a condition that indirectly drains away my self-esteem, confidence and womanhood. I was determined to establish and find back the lost intimacy with my spouse.

Through the wide range of programs and activities offered by Eros Coaching, as well as the comprehensive discussions with Martha, I gained more confidence in overcoming the condition. I am very thankful to know Martha and will always be grateful to her. I strongly recommend Eros Coaching to anyone." - Anonymoys Lady, February 2012

Testimonials from my other clients who had vaginismus: Here, here, here and here.

Three Days to Yin and Yang Conference!

An event that approaches a couple's sexual relationship in a whole new light. From knowing and appreciating the yin and the yang of each other's sexual anatomies and overcoming obstacles to sexual fulfillment to learning skills to improve your adventures in the bedroom, this one-day encounter aims to impart sexual information, knowledge, and skills for couples to be able to more confidently and authentically connect with each other sexually. All the sessions promise not only enhancement of sexual pleasure deepening of intimate relationships.

Click here for more.

1. Differentiate and appreciate the differences between the female and male sexual anatomy
2. Identify different sexual difficulties and what you can do about them
3. Practice conscious connecting through touch
4. Sexual skills you can apply immediately in the bedroom!

Talk 1: Nuts and bolts: About male and female sexual anatomy (9:30a.m. -- 10:30a.m.)
Talk 2: Sexual difficulties and what you can do about them (11:30a.m. -- 12:30p.m.)
Talk 3: Conscious connecting through touch (1:30p.m. -- 2:30p.m.)
Talk 4: Sexual techniques: How to make love for a lifetime (3p.m. -- 4p.m.)

Click here for more.

About the speaker:

Founder of Eros Coaching, Dr. Martha Lee is a Clinical Sexologist who does sexuality and intimacy coaching. Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, Men’s Health Malaysia, Durex Singapore Facebook page as well as Durex Malaysia Facebook page. She has a weekly column with PublicHouse.sg and blogs for Good Vibrations Magazine. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011.

Click here for more.

Febulove is a month-long campaign on love, eros and romance by Eros Coaching. Eros Coaching is a sexuality and intimacy coaching company in Singapore. Subscribers receive exculsive promotions and e-lessons everyday for the month of February. So join now on www.FebuLove.com.

FebuLove.com is a project by ErosCoaching.com.
Video production by http://seopromovideo.com

Media: Concious Connecting

This article first appeared in the Feb/ March 2012 issue of The New Age Parents. Click image to read.

It's February, the romantic month. Rather than getting caught up in buying lavish presents, which actually mean little in the long run, how about going within yourselves and reconnecting with each other consciously?

Dr Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality as well as certificates in practical counselling, life coaching and sex therapy. She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia. For more, visit www.eroscoaching.com.

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Launch of Liberate E-book!

Marcus Mok's beautiful photobook Liberate is now available as an e-book to download online. Have the seductive pictures on your screen as well as in hard copy on your coffee table.

The E-book can be purchased at www.marcusart.net for the introductory price of SG$25 rather than the usual SG$30.

Or get an even better deal by combining the E-book with a hard copy of the photobook at the prices below.



Photobook launch and exhibition

The E-book follows the very successful launch of the hard copy version in June 2011 at John Erdos Gallery in Singapore. Comedian and actor Hossan Leong launched the book in conjunction with an exhibition of selected works. Sales of both the book and the prints have been brisk in Singapore and around the world - USA, Australia, Europe and Asia.

Valentines' Day Special - photobook, E-book and limited edition postcards

To celebrate Chinese New Year and to prepare for Valentines' Day, Marcus is offering a limited number of personally inscribed photo books, E-book plus eight limited edition postcards at the following prices:

Singapore Price: SG$80 for Liberate Photobook + Liberate E-book + 8 Limited Edition Postcards (usual price SG$140 - save SG$60!)

Overseas Price: SG$110 for Liberate Photobook + Liberate E-book + 8 Limited Edition Postcards (usual price SG$175 - save SG$65!)

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